Dying is Hard Work
We talk about death a lot in AIM
and in Christian circles. Death. Die to your
flesh, die so you can live. I remember
when I was on the race and anything difficult would happen, my friend Amanda
would say, “This is just your opportunity to die!”
My twenties have been much of that. Andit seems that I’m not alone in that process.
Many of my friends also find themselves in a position
to die. To die to their rights, die to
all they hoped for, die to their flesh, forgo what they wanted and die. It seems the Lord is doing this in many of
my friend’s lives. It seems he cares
more about our character than our comfort, unfortunately for my flesh.
Recently a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend. She’s still in her early twenties, but the
prospect of continuing on at times has seemed utterly unbearable. We spoke the other night when she had very
much reached the bottom of the barrel and I asked, “Friend, what do you want
more, the will of God in your life or to get rid of the pain you feel right
now?”
prospect of continuing on at times has seemed utterly unbearable. We spoke the other night when she had very
much reached the bottom of the barrel and I asked, “Friend, what do you want
more, the will of God in your life or to get rid of the pain you feel right
now?”
And to be honest, it’s often
difficult to answer that question, especially when the pain seems to quench out
any seeming life. But, at the end of the
day, she decided, it was more important to pursue God’s plan for her life than
it was to alleviate the pain.
difficult to answer that question, especially when the pain seems to quench out
any seeming life. But, at the end of the
day, she decided, it was more important to pursue God’s plan for her life than
it was to alleviate the pain.
As a little girl, my only dream was to grow up and have a family of my own. In college, while most of my peers in college wanted careers, I longed to get married and have babies. And instead the reverse has happened – I find myself in the working world and my friends are getting MY dream. I just returned from a trip to Indiana where I met up with old college friends. Four are now married, one is pregnant and the others soon to follow. And again I faced another opportunity to die. I believe the Lord has those things for me, but his timing seems to be very different than my own; and in the meantime I get to die.
Somehow, I think my generation has come to two conclusions. 1) That, if we love Jesus, we’ll be
able to make it through life without pain. And 2) if we feel pain, we must have
failed in some way. I think, per much
counsel, that pain is part of life; and that the Lord uses pain to grow us.
So, what I’m continuing to learn is to – “Consider it pure
joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that
the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you
may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4
able to make it through life without pain. And 2) if we feel pain, we must have
failed in some way. I think, per much
counsel, that pain is part of life; and that the Lord uses pain to grow us.
So, what I’m continuing to learn is to – “Consider it pure
joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that
the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you
may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4
Support update:
Goal: $2500/month thru 30 supporters
Raised so far: $330/month thru 4 supporters
Urgent Need: I’m unable to pay the title for my car and I had to drop my health insurance. If you’ve considered giving to my support needs, please pray about joining my team.
Thank you for your prayers!
Thank you for your prayers!
barnsey…i love this! so glad you’re living life fully alive and fully dead at the same time! 😉 you’re amazing and God’s going to meet you at the place of pain and provide. There’s this pastor at Bethel that talks about pressing into pain and it’s just brilliant…on the opposite side of pain is breakthrough. keep going girl! you’re moments away from a breakthrough!
i guess i should probably stalk your blog now that we’re bff. amen to everything you said. praying for your support to come in.