I wrote this in an email to a friend, not planning on posting it - I figured everyone had read all the other girls' blogs on the subject. But just in case you haven't gotten a taste of some of the pain here; here's my version.

Thailand is amazing, I have LOVED it. I spent a week in Bangkok working on writing, and actually got to go

into the bars one night - it was unbelievable. Seriously, I walked in and immediately stared at the ground. This was the scene from movies my parents either fast forwarded or didn't let me watch at all. Girls were piled up on stage - about 50-70 of them. All in G-string bikinis, all dancing erotically with poles or one another. It was unreal; stuff that only happens in the movies. Guys dotted the sides; jeering the girls. Mama Song (the woman pimp who managed/owned the club) walked around, enticing the guys, trying to turn them on; because then they would be more likely to purchase a girl.

I sat with Stacy in a corner, forcing myself to look the girls in the eyes. Mama Song beckoned to a really pretty girl with curly brown hair. The girl climbed up beside the guy she'd been called for and began flirting. She was coy and sweet, and the guy bought her a drink. They talked some more, she whispered in his ear and then went back up for more dancing. After a couple of songs she sat beside him and they negotiated a price. Five minutes later she emerged from the dressing room in a cute little dress and they soon departed. I felt like I was watching my little sister leave for a date with a serial rapist. My heart felt like it was ripped in two; I can only imagine how hard it must be for people who go out more than once.

After that we rejoined the others who had bought a couple of girls drinks (they get to stop dancing and talk with you if you buy them a drink - house rules). One girl was only 15, she lied and said she was 19 so she could work there. She'd only been working for 3 weeks! We (and some other girls who have continued on for the past few weeks) work with a ministry called NightLight who work at getting the girls out of the bars. It's heart-wrenching, completely heart-wrenching. As we left I looked at my friend Becca and said, "I could never bring my mom in there; she wouldn't be able to stop crying."

I was so blessed to get to go out for even a night - (my original plan was to be on a bus headed North to join my team). But it was eye-opening and also helps give me a taste for what we'll be doing next month in Cambodia (working with girls who have come out of the bars). Please pray for the ministries here that are doing this all the time and for my team next month as we venture in to try and help with the aftermath.